My mother, a single parent, seems to revel in how upset/stressed I am. Today, she all but spat in my face, and it was very apparent that she both hates my struggles - work, parenting, dealing with the renovation, housework, driving, cooking, shopping - yet so enjoys telling me that This Is What It's Really Like.
I'd really like her to grow the fuck up now. I am not her sister or mother, she can stop responding to me as if I were one of them. I am not her, I did not make her choices
What's clear is that if I were to bring this up (again), I Would Be Wrong. The funny thing is that while I am married, I am on my own where most things are concerned. Part of this is cultural, part of it is that Mr Oro is still just a big kid, one who doesn't seem to understand just how much I'm carrying on my shoulders.
And I feel stupid for not bringing it up (again) - not that he would change what he's doing anyway.. Here's the thing, I don't want to have to bring it up again, I want everyone to just freaking 'get it' already.
Or should I just continue to suck it up, tell myself this won't last forever?*
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In other news, The Chieftain continues not to talk.
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I also don't know whether or not to get another urine test after he tested positive for a UTI. I know. Dr F decided not to put him on antibiotics, but how the hell can I tell when it goes away? Our next appointment isn't until October. I don't have a clue as to how he got it, after all it's been so hot he's been having a lot of naked baby time. He grabs his penis a lot and I just can't tell if that's normal baby boy stuff or 'it burns when I pee!' stuff.
Which reminds me, my mom, being even more supportive, told me once again how much she wishes he could be in a playgroup and or preschool. Because, y'know, gods forbid I don't have even more pressure on my shoulders. I guess it is All My Fault that I live in a rural area and that the only other children near his age are a 9 month old, an 18 month old and a 3 year old, the latter two of whom are only here during the summer, the older of which doesn't even like other children. And although I "shouldn't rush around so much", it would be "so good for him" to socialize more.
Let's take a closer look at that, shall we? A Typical Day:
5-6AM Oro rises, showers, tries to read blogs or do work for work
4-8AM Chieftain rises (lately it's been 4, daddy takes over until 6, when Oro gets up)
11AM-1PM Chieftain generally starts napping
1-2PM Oro leaves for work and to run errands (except the full days, leaving at 8:30AM)
6PM Oro gets out of work, buys groceries, comes home, plays with baby, cooks, plays with baby, tries to do laundry/computer stuff/tidy/put food away/watch tv/yadda
8-10PM Chieftain generally goes to sleep (only w/daddy thankyouverymuch)
10-12PM Oro goes to bed, reads for a bit, tries to sleep
The two nearest playgroups are 30mins - 1hour away, each way, and generally start at 10:30AM...so even if I got there on time, it's cutting it fine to get home again and eat something, plus feed him, before leaving for work. And some them cost $$. Never mind the gas($2.59pgal). I already spend $100 a month just going to and from work and am loathe to spend more.
I've explained this to my mother multiple times, and her answer is always to shit on Mr Oro for not having his license, then deciding that Of Course we would need 2 cars, which Somehow We Will Be Able To Afford To Buy And Insure. She really hopes that the Chieftain Doesn't Grow Up Unsocialized, it's Such A Pity and No Wonder Other Children Frighten Him.
Like I said, thanks for that support, Mom, but really, feel free to keep it to yourself.
I guess I've done enough ranting for tonight, I'm exhausted and have been eating very poorly. For someone who never used to drink coffee, I find I can't go a day without any more.
Oro out, not even bothering to even minimally look for spelling errors, which will annoy her mightily on the morrow.
* even though I secretly think it will
